A True Journal Entry

Okay...welcome again to my little world... I don't like people. Ordinarily. That will seem astonishing to those reading this who know me well--I'm a very outgoing person. But it's true. It's not that I'm judgmental per se, but--people irritate me. Easily. The less well-read, the less educated, the less articulate, the more likely I am to dismiss you. No offense, and I clearly don't show it in the midst of conversation, but--it's true, none the less. I have no idea how many typos I may have in this damn post, but--I've discovered that I don't really know how to do spell check on a blog--the ways I know don't seem to work. My apologies to those of you paying attention to those kinds of things (as I would). Anyway... I played darts tonight, and HOW WEIRD--a couple I was playing with (and beat in the end) left me what looked and smelled like a "joint." VERY WEIRD in my world. Okay, so I looked for a couple of girlfriends to check things out/smoke with, but no one turned up, so... I smoked alone. It was either very weak, or I am VERY high, and I'm watching "Mad About You" while typing this. Oh, well, at least I didn't have a panic attack. I am supposed to have a date tomorrow night with the guy I can't figure out. Are we friends? Are we dating? Are you trying to take the lead and I keep stealing your thunder, or what? In that respect--I don't know what is going on in my life...I mean, hell, whatever...I guess, this is the nature of a journal-blog. If I actually get on here everyday we could all have some fun, because the world gets to comment on my everyday life. This could be a lot of weird-ass fun. Okay, I'm going to publish this for the hell of it. Write whatever you want...in response.

welcome to my world...a true journal entry...

Okay--I have more than one reader. That's very cool. It makes me feel the need to post more often for you folks. Actually, it's interesting, because one of you I know--at least one other is a complete stranger. Welcome to my life...I think. SO...here is a question...pertaining to previous posts somewhat: whatever happened to honesty? I make a conscientious attempt to not treat ANYONE like shit. And still the same cannot be said for my former friends or lovers or place-label-heres. I'm a fabulous human. I'm someone you want on your side. One of the best people in the world to claim as "having my back." And still--I deal with shit all the time. I've grown better at not tolerating it. At dumping people out of my life sooner who attempt to take advantage of my giving nature, or who don't treat me with the same respect and understanding with which I treat them. Still...there is a definite lack of equalibrium in my relationships. I seem to always be the one holding the short straw. It pisses me off more and more all the time. I don't believe in rules. I wouldn't want a guy who tolerates a woman treating him like shit, and I don't want to ever be a woman who tolerates a man treating her like shit. On a platonic level, I have recently had to let go of a best friend who wasn't treating me to anything but silence. There comes a time for virtually all relationships to die...it's painful, but sometimes it is for the best. I'm rambling, so...post whatever you like. I'll try to start writing every day--in the true nature of a journal. Just you wait--sometimes I'm a genius, and sometimes I'm just as lost, confused, scared and crazy as everyone else...

Annoyed

What is it with men? I mean...seriously. I don't want this to be a stereotypical rant about how there are no gentlemen anymore, and why is it that only women seem to have any semblance of rules for dating, because those rants are so cliched. But REALLY!! I mean, why don't these idiots who seem to like you and play all the cards right on the date--just call for EFFS-sake?! It's just annoying. I mean, I would just rather know. I want to know if it's cool to just go "NEXT!" Because that one's no longer in play, or to continue the game a little longer. Not that you can't have a couple in play at the same time, ladies, I mean, that's old-school, but what was good for our mothers should definitely be good for us. I just want to know if I've been cut loose, or if I'm the one who eventually may be doing the cutting. And really, sometimes there seems to be no way of knowing lately. I mean, I've been in the unfortunate situation of running into a guy that I went on a few dates with and then haven't heard from--and he acts as if there is a possibility of our next date being that weekend. WHAT IS THAT?! And how annoying! I mean, hello! haven't we both moved on to the "NEXT!" by now at least? Whatever... I just keep waiting for someone to make this simpler. But I don't see it happening in my lifetime. Sure--it's great that we can have sex before marriage without being stoned--but wouldn't it be nice if guys actually asked us out on real DATES and called a few days later to schedule the next one?! Two steps forward...one step back. I guess, we're still one step ahead of the game at least...

Ron Livingston was a GREAT guest star...

How funny... I have a draft in progress, but I've realized something fascinating (to me at least) which is: I really only like to "blog" in the middle of the night/morning when I've had just a little too much to drink, and some interesting conversation. As a fan of S&TC I will include you all in the most interesting of the conversations this evening. My friend Jane has been dating a married/separated prick named Brent for a little while. She had the misfortune of falling in love with this much older loser. Take it for granted that all those who love her have been telling her to run for a couple of months. "Props" must be given to her FINALLY kicking him to the curb. It's rough going now, and we'll see if she holds her heading, but still--fair winds are blowing at last (for all of those of a nautical metaphor bent).

As to myself... well, as far as I know, I'm single. I love the freeing idea of "maybe he's just not that into you." For some, that may sound cynical. But for me--I like that attitude. It feels freeing. I don't have to worry about some random guy I had one interesting conversation with in a coffee house or bar, sure he took my number, but he didn't call. SOOOOO WHAT?! Yes, sometimes the "maybe, he's just not that into you" thing makes me a little sad because I would love to be "into" the guy in question, but--at least I didn't waste any time over it. That's the best thing about this particular "Berger" inspired outlook. You never waste time over what may have been--in ANY circumstance. Does that make me even more--or less--cynical? I'm not entirely sure... but I'll take it. Sometimes the ones that pass you by are the ones you would have been glad to have passed by...

The Beginning

Hello All
Well, I thought this might be fun so... why not? Don't worry I'll post pictures eventually. This is only the beginning. A shout out to Circe-Purrs. I love you, and I realized by reading yours that I might like a blog of my very own. Life is curious and one can never know just where it may lead you. The world is strange and wonderous--why not explore? When we were kids and curious without fear we learned so much more so much faster. Would that we could learn as quickly now. Maybe it's time to just be more courageous. I may have spelled that wrong, but--I don't care. I'm not looking for an editor for my life. I'm just looking for listeners--which, beautifully in this world, means readers. I hope you all will have as much fun reading, writing and posting as I will.